Decisions, Decisions...

I know it has been a bit since my last post. I've been plugging along (life you know) and as of this morning I'm down 13 pounds from 2/28! More clean eating, Zepbound, and smaller portions have been helpful. I also don't deprive myself- I ordered Domino's Friday night and went out to lunch on Sunday. When I do eat out, I've been eating less, even if it's hard to say no to delicious desserts like lemon cheesecake! More exercise is still something I'm working on but clearly I'm making better decisions.

This recent success has brought the decision of bariatric surgery to the front of my mind. I sat in on an information zoom session, and have an intake appointment on 4/15. It's a huge decision because it's involving (potentially) reworking the digestive system, and I have to be careful with what I eat for the rest of my life. Do I really want to think about what I can and cannot eat for the next 50 years? I may never eat soda or raw vegetables again, or be able to eat more than 3 bites of dessert at a time. I can eat most food in smaller portions, but it's a learning curve finding out how much I can handle without being sick. When it's Thanksgiving, do I want to watch my family and friends have a huge meal while I have five bites? It may sound like I'm putting too much value into food, but it's not just food itself: I don't mind not drinking soda, or limiting alcohol, but I enjoy the social aspect and spontaneity of making plans. I also worry people will stop inviting me to join them when they go out especially in winter. They may think they're helping by not tempting me to be around certain food choices, but I already struggle with feeling lonely and have a bit of FOMO (fear of missing out)- I don't want to miss an opportunity to socialize or try a new spot. I also know that losing the surgery would allow me to lose the weight more quickly and lead to more active, comfortable life that I strive for.

I'll have my intake appointment and then see where I go from there. Definitely a few different paths I can take!